20 things that caused my cancer
This is science
Not drinking enough milk
Drinking too much Diet Coke
Microplastics™️
Gettin that damn vaccine (can apply to any vaccine)
Trader Joe’s microwavables
Homosexuality
Not wearing gloves when I use Clorox wipes
My phone
My laptop
Your phone
Your laptop
Whatever causes that high pitched sound that kicks on around 4am
Not enough and too much coffee
Zoom meetings
Ate part of a candy wrapper once
Dishwasher detergent
Wi-Fi
That one time I got an Amazon package that smelled chemical-ly
Subway air
Store brand cheese
McSweeney's submission when
Huh hadn't heard about not drinking enough milk; I wonder if ultra-concentrated dish soap that I touch with my bare hands affects me somehow and I'm pretty sure touching Clorox wipes barehanded does cause something in the long run. Also have you heard of Yuka? https://yuka.io/en/